Manchester United's star forward line up of Wayne Rooney, Ryan Giggs and Chicharito are set to be defenders in the titanic Champions League Final against Barcelona on 28 May. But they won't be defending their goal, but their manager, Sir Alex Ferguson!
The shock tactical move by Fergie is believed to result from the wave of copycat touchline assaults on managers following the shocking attack on Celtic boss Neil Lennon during the second half of his team's 3-0 win against Hearts.
Last night, Barcelona's coach Pep Guardiola was threatened in his coaching area on the pitch at Levante, during his side's 1-1 draw which clinched their third Spanish La Liga title in a row.
Guardiola was left shaken as a man leapt over the dug out roof and started haranguing him in English and Portuguese, twanging the elastic on Guardiola's track-suit pants while calling him a cheat and a sartorial disgrace. Spanish police say the attacker, who then made his escape down the tunnel, would be difficult to trace, "We're looking for a special one here' said Levante PD spokesman.
Meanwhile back at Old Trafford as news of the managerial attacks filtered through, Sir Alex was making contingency plans for his safety at the Wembley final.
'The lads were a natural choice of minders for the Boss," said a dressing-room insider, "Wazza comes from a family of boxers, Giggsy's dad was a tough rugby league player who was a 'bit tasty', and Chicarito used to be a lucha libre wrestler back in Mexico. He can tie a man in knots - literally."
"God help anyone who comes near the Boss when he's in the pitch coaching area during the match with those boys donutting him." he smiles, "And that applies to the ref, linesmen and that french twat Platini!"
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