10 of the greatest robots in movie history that i ever know

BEEP! BLOP! BLORP! Hyper-intelligent robots have been showing up on the big screen since pretty much the dawn of film (fact: the first movie to feature a robot was a 1921 silent film named The Mechanical Man). Of all the artificially intelligent movie characters out there, here are 12 of the greatest.

12 Data – Star Trek

Who says robots can’t feel emotion? While initially as unloving and distant as my step-dad, Star Trek’s favorite chief operations officer discovers the horrors of empathy when Dr. Soong eventually implants an emotion chip into him. Whether you liked this upgrade or not, Data’s amazing computational skills and ability to show an outsider’s perspective on humanity helped make him an important character in both the Star Trek show and movies.

11 Bender Bending Rodriguez – Futurama

Yeah, Bender is better known on the small screen, but all those straight-to-DVD Futurama movies help him find his way onto this list. Simply put, there’s no other robot out there that you’d rather party with. When not sucking down a cold brew or stealing your wallet, Bender can also be pretty useful when he wants to be. I mean, if you ever need something bent, you know whom to call…

10 Johnny 5 – Short Circuit

Apparently, all it takes is one little lightning strike to grant self-awareness to an unassuming military robot. Such is the case with one of the silliest robots of all time – Johnny 5. Despite his flaws, this sappy little guy endeared himself to an entire generation of 80s kids.

 

9 Gort – The Day the Earth Stood Still

When it comes to robots, Gort is the strong silent type. Assembled in outer space by extraterrestrials, this big hunk of metal has the power to disintegrate weapons with his snazzy laser ray. Serving much like a bouncer at a nightclub, his primary objective is to keep humans (a.k.a. the riffraff) from entering his master’s spaceship.

8 The Stepford Wives

In the town of Stepford, Connecticut, every man appears to have the perfect wife. Devoted, loving and exceptionally attractive, this is the type of wife that many a man dreams about. As it turns out, these zombie-like vixens are (spoiler alert!) actually women turned into robots…with the primary objective of serving man.

7 RoboCop

No, RoboCop isn’t all nuts and bolts (there’s still a little Alex Murphy in there), but for all intents and purposes this ultimate police officer is a robot through and through. Due to the sheer badassery of his program design, RoboCop can essentially perform the duties of the entire Detroit police force (and we all know how hard that job can be). Unlike pure robots, Murphy’s memories continue to flash through, helping to humanize this metal-clad cop.

6 The Iron Giant

When you were a kid, did you ever dream of owning your own robot? Unless you’re anti-American, then the answer is, “Yes.” The Iron Giant takes this premise and turns it into a great cartoon movie. With his 50-foot height, awesome steampunk design and ability to shoot destructive missiles, this is one powerful robot that any kid would be lucky to have for a friend.

5 Optimus Prime – Transformers

Whether or not you’re a fan of the new Transformers movies, you can’t deny that Optimus Prime is one epic robot. I mean, it takes a pretty powerful robot to continually take on and defeat the Decepticons evil plans for destruction. To get the job done, he has the ability to shoot projectiles, slice off heads with a retractable blade and an unwavering belief in truth and justice. Oh, and of course he’s also got the ability to transform into a semi truck (bonus!).

4 WALL-E

Lonely old WALL-E is one of the scrappiest robots to ever have been assembled. From his love for Hello Dolly to his love for EVE (and who can blame him – that bitch is HOT), you’d have to be a robot yourself to not love this little dude. Whether you’re five years old or (God forbid) 85 years old, WALL-E is an artificial lifeform that anyone would want to have around.

3 T-800 – Terminator series

Do we really have to go into the details? The T-800 is a supreme cyborg that delivers super strength, has the ability to learn from past experiences and tops it off with an endless number of witty catchphrases. Wrap it all up into a muscle-clad bodybuilder package, and there’s no doubt Model 101 is one of the most badass robots of all time.

2 HAL 9000 – 2001: A Space Odyssey

Anyone who has seen 2001: A Space Odyssey will be forever haunted by that ever-present bright red light that is HAL 9000. Unlike most robots on this list, HAL is more of a methodical and psychologically powerful robot. Unfortunately, his powerful computer brain suffers somewhat of a breakdown, causing him to go on a murderous rampage.

1 R2-D2 – Star Wars

For being nothing more than a run-of-the-mill astromech droid, R2-D2 proves himself time and again to be an incredibly important character in the Star Wars universe. Beyond his ability to cut the tension with a little humor (shout out to similarly awesome C-3PO for the assist), R2 has saved the necks of his sentient friends more than once. From his simple delivery of Leia’s message to his ability to repair starships on the fly, this little guy is one of the most functional and loveable robots in film history.

Via: Guyism

6 Disney villains that should be considered heroes

Let me be the first to admit to crying at the end of Disney movies. Once the credits roll, I’m already salting and buttering the remnants of my popcorn with tears and snot. Why do the bad guys always have to lose? Seems like the writers give them the most inspiring tales of perseverance and the greatest attributes, then its some fateful explosion or off some cliff. Damn you, PG rating! Here are six Disney villains who should have been heroes.

6 Cruella De Ville

When PETA volunteers want to get pumped up before their outings, they watch 101 Dalmations. Cruella De Ville is the animated representation of everything animal rights people hate. She’s addicted to furs and willing to sacrifice however many puppies, 101 in this case, to get the spotted coat of her dreams. I never found animal cruelty especially heroic but take this into consideration; she’s bitch-slapping thugs, rocking an electrified skunk hairdo, and driving like Speed Racer on speed, at the age of sixty-freaking-five. You’ve got to give it up to her for that performance, and by “it”, I mean a dog or two.

5 Jafar

Aladdin’s Jafar is guilty of treason, assault & battery and attempting murder, but who’s really counting when the “good guy”, Aladdin, is going around lying about his identity and stealing food from the marketplace (c’mon son, get a job!). The only thing Jafar is really guilty of is being a dreamer, like John Lennon singing Imagine. So he teaches himself the art of hypnosis and through research and careful planning, unlocks Agrabah’s greatest treasure, the genie’s lamp. That’s two lifetime achievements. In the end, ambition gets the best of him when he goes from bubbly sultan’s bald advisor to becoming the most anabolically ripped, planet juggling genie. Win or lose?

4 Captain Hook

Yes, Peter Pan’s Captain Hook was a grumpy one, but last time I checked, getting your hand cut off and fed to a crocodile can seriously f-ck up your day. Some might even lose hope, quit their jobs and apply for the handicap parking space tag. Not the captain of the Jolly Roger brig. Just slap a hook on it and let’s keep it moving gang! The other reason to side with the Hook is the benevolence he shows, offering The Lost Boys a chance to become part of his crew and more importantly, a chance to grow up. Meanwhile, Peter Pan wants to keep them young forever so they could play all day, climb trees and have sleepovers. There’s a word for people like that. Pedophiles.

3 Sid

A lot of boys had mixed feelings about that first Toy Story movie. While many of them, like Andy, cherished their Ninja Turtles and Captain Planets; that didn’t mean we weren’t into blowing things up and performing surgery on them like Sid. No matter how many times he threw back his head to let out that evil cackling, we couldn’t help but identify with the sick bastard.

2 Gaston

Beauty and The Beast’s Gaston was a man’s man. Within a three minute time frame, he manages to snap a leather belt with sheer neck muscle, devour a dozen eggs after juggling them, distribute beer from a barrel with a few shots from his rifle, and end a game of chess (he was obviously losing) by slapping the board off the table. So what if he was a bit sexist, you’ll have to forgive that especially when he willingly put his life on the line going toe to toe with a monster for Belle. Also, I’m not going to hold it against him for not taking part in a cute snowball fight. At the end of the day, if you want to celebrate human and beast relations, be my guest (no Lumiere).

1 Tony Perkis

Heavyweights is one of those childhood movies that became an instant classic to anybody who got a chance to see it. It’s about a fat camp taken over by Tony Perkis, an overzealous fitness entrepreneur (played by Ben Stiller). Never mind his alternative motive to create the most epic weight loss infomercial, Uncle Tony does whatever it takes to get these boys in shape. From the beginning of the day, he would get involved waking campers up over a PA system (“Today is Evaluation Day. The key word being value. Do you have any? Not yet you don’t.”), demonstrate how to break blocks of ice with abs and a sledgehammer, then take the boys on an endless hike and show them how to safely jump from a cliff to a branch. When confronted by parents and other counselors about his extreme methods, he throws glass bottles on the floor and walks over them barefoot to show his commitment. If that’s not a hero, I don’t want to be saved.

Don’t click any Facebook ‘Osama Bin Laden pic’ links

Osama Bin Laden got permanently taken down on Sunday, but there are some really stupid people who want to ramp up conspiracy theories about whether or not he’s actually dead. So, the White House is going to release a photo of Osama being dead and stuff.



 

This will probably be the most-viewed photo in the history of the Internet. It will probably be gory, like the completely photoshopped picture you see to the right.

(And yeah, sorry about that — guess I could have not tried to make sure everyone was coming back from lunch when I posted this.

You will probably send it to at least 30 friends. Or if you’re more popular than me, 31+. More importantly though, the trolls who live on the Internet definitely will try to use this Osama Bin Laden pic craze to try and steal your stuff.

I received an email on Monday evening from Facebook mail that a friend had wrote something on my wall. Having not spoken with “Tim” in quite some time, I was surprised. Then I opened up the email:



 

You’ll never believe this, but you shouldn’t go to that address. Or “facebook.com/XXXXX” or whatever URL is sent to you.

Lemme break this down real quick: people who try and abuse Facebook and Twitter are always trying to steal your stuff. You shouldn’t click on these things. Also, these people are trying to boost their SEO for “Bin Laden Dead Pic” or “Osama Dead Facebook Pic” or, well, you get the point — they want your stuff and they don’t care how they get it.

More importantly is this point: the White House, and only the White House, will release this photo.

Only the White House. Remember, this is the White House that didn’t let it leak that they were going to kill Osama Bin Laden. If they didn’t let that happen, they certainly will stay ahead of this one photo.

You may be inclined to believe that “your buddy Steve” on Facebook could somehow get a hold of the picture via another site and post it, but he didn’t.

And he won’t. So don’t click those links, people.